Saturday, November 20, 2010

Enjoying the Ride yet?

Lately these days seem like an emotional roller coaster.
I love the days when things seem to come together nicely...
I hold on to the good news and try to stay positive.

Its harder than it seems because at times there are more bad than good.
The ups and downs literally keep my head spinning.
I just wonder when this ride will be over...
I am thankful to be able to afford this ticket though.
I know there are so many women out there who can't.
I get that being able to try is a blessing alone.

This week I started my fourth cycle.
The excitement that existed when I first started is not there anymore.
My heart feels so heavy...

My clock is ticking so loud it wakes me up at times.
I want my baby boy(s) or girl(s)
So all I can do is continue my little ride.

I will patiently wait for it to come to an end. 
I know it will be worth it.
And a new journey will begin.

**Thanks to everyone for their support. This is such an emotional time for us all and it really helps to have people you can root for and that you know are rooting for you!
Baby bust to us all.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Follow the Light

I remember when I found a doctor that would finally listen.
After being rejected  by at least 4 doctors, I found him.
When everyone else told me to cut both tubes out, he told me he would try to save them.
In return, I felt like he was truly saving me from the sorrow.  

Never did I want to give up the hope that I could get pregnant "naturally"
There was a voice in my head telling me to not listen to the doctors,
that there was hope for me and husband.

I am so happy that I listened to that voice because it lead me to Dr. P.

Even though it took 5 long months to get the surgery...
Even though he could not save both tubes...

One was worth saving...
Like me.

The left tube was strong and yet fragile,
Like me.

Functional but so dysfunctional,
Like me.

It took months but finally:
There was a light at the end of the tunnel and thank God I decided to follow it.